Today is Valentine's Day. A day for couples to joyously celebrate their love for one another with flowers, cards, chocolate, and teddy bears. How do I feel today? Totally indifferent.
You think I'm lying. Pretending to be indifferent. And I know. A young single woman on Valentine's Day is supposed to feel murderously depressed. I should be lying in some boozed up puddle on my couch having a neurotic breakdown about the fact that I'm alone. I ought to be spinning in a self-defeating circle and expressing my loneliness as rage by hating myself, men, and everything that's preventing me from attaining the merry domestic bliss of True Love.
But, the truth is, I don't feel any of those things.
Maybe I'm missing the hype factor. On previous Valentine's Days, boyfriends have taken me through the traditional steps: Roses. Dinner dates. Hand-holding and gifts. Sure, it was a lovely evening, with lovely boyfriends, full of lovely things. But, without those things - and without those boys - I don't feel particularly suicidal.
And why should I? Are men expected to display the same crippling self-doubt when reminded of the fact that they're single? No way. For most bachelors, today, is just another Sunday.
But women are constantly being told that we need a relationship to validate our existence. We aren't worthwhile until someone loves us. Consequently, we must devote high quotas of time/energy to finding, keeping, and trapping our Prince Charming. We should abhor being alone, and fear spinsterhood like a contagious disease.
But none of this is true. At least, not as intensely true as Romantic Comedies (like the aptly named: Valentine's Day) would have you believe. I admit that as my peers peel off into serious pairings, it's harder to avoid feeling like I'm being left behind. But left behind from what? Women have independent passions that also validate a worthy life. And we should be reminded of that more often. Instead, our heads are filled with He's Just Not That Into You, sexy tricks to keep from cheating, and endless recommendations on getting the man you want. Really? The list of things I want in the near future reads: badass apartment downtown, fierce lawyer job, and the perfect pencil skirt. Notably absent? Teddy bears, husbands, and babies.
None of this is to say I'm bitterly anti-Vday. I'm not. It just fails to make me feel insecure or crazy. I believe in Lasting Love, and I believe I'll find it. And when I do, I hope it is a hilarious, tumbling, rapturous affair. But in the meantime, I will focus on the people and pursuits I already love. I will dance to Michael Jackson in karaoke bars, swill whiskey/tequila with my favorite people, and move to a new city. I will laugh. Loudly. At everything.
Afterall, it's just another Sunday.
Currently Listening: Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zero - "Home"
2 comments:
Thank you for articulating what I could not! I had a complete day of helping my sister move, working on an overdue work assignment, joking with mom, eating lots of cake, and watching the olympics until my eyes were dry. And I didn't give two thoughts about what my man-less day meant about me. It really was just another Sunday, albeit one with a lot of fucking snow.
As you might know, I was in Boston this weekend, because despite having a Valentine for the first time ever, when I made my trip plans I forgot that it was Valentine's Day. Not important!
MOVE INTO THE CITY FASTER.
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