Quietly.

... but surely?

I have had a lot of developments in my "legal life" lately.  Most recently (i.e. Thursday), I got word I passed the Massachusetts State bar exam.  Hooray!  Somehow, the relief about passing is stunted by the fear that maybe all my good-luck has been spent, and the Other Bar Result I'm still waiting on will be negatory.  Before you accuse me of being overly pessimistic, isn't that basically the ending to every Greek Fates Tragedy you were forced to read in middle school?  ("Oh, of COURSE the love-of-your-life can leave the underworld as long as you never look back at her.  You love her so much you peeked over your shoulder?  So precious!  ETERNAL DAMNATION FOR HER SOUL THEN.")  Right.  Exactly.  Why did we learn this AS CHILDREN?!

Anyway, a week ago, I interviewed with a small immigration law firm in D.C. that I now call my employer.  So, in a few weeks time, I managed to become a licensed lawyer with a job.  Things are looking up!

And thus, champagne.

Weirdly, I don't feel as celebratory as I do calm.  But!  A wonderful calm!  The kind of welcome respite that comes from turning off all the static in a room and realizing silence is velvety and refreshing in its own right.  All the worries in my head have flipped down to low-fi, and maybe that's the New Happiness - an absence of anxiety.  Is that lame? An old-person perspective?  "I'm so psyched when I don't need to use my dentures to chew food!!"  Uhhh.  Gross.

Either way, I don't care much.  I will take my wonderful old-person calm happiness and rest on it's flat-lake surface in my banana boat and nap in the sunshine.  You kids and your tremulous excitement and LMFAO songs can go joy-surfing on your own time.


Currently Listening: Josh Ritter - "The Curse" 
(Under miles of stone the dry fig of his heart / Under scarab and bone / Starts back to its beating) 
(Note: This song/line reminds me of Eleanor Rigby.)